Attempt #17 at starting (and keeping) a blog.
This time it’s a little different. This is a little less of whim, and more of something I’ve been thinking of for the last few days. This time it’s a matter of health.
I am suffering from, for lack of a better term, brain atrophy. Now, I realize that cerebral atrophy is a serious medical diagnostic, and no, I don’t have any diseases and haven’t had any brain trauma. But here’s the catch-22: I can’t think of another clever name for what I have. What I have is a breakdown of brain function due to, well now here’s the real quandary. Due to what?
Once upon a time (yeah, that’s a good way to phrase college) I was clever. I have never had a good memory, so I was never quick with the right movie quote or song lyric, but quips and puns I had. I could debate literature, philosophy, politics, and be funny and clever while doing so. So what happened? Did I stop using my brain? That can’t be right. Since college I have travelled, learned new hobbies, read books. I subscribe to National Geographic and Wired (which has seriously deteriorated in recent months with its obsession with Twitter and Facebook). I’m a college professor for christ’s sake. So what happened? Did I get old? I’m only 32.
So what else has happened since college? Ok, I admit my gaming habit has, at times, been a bit obsessive, but MMORPGs are anything but mindless. I don’t have a TV, but I do stream a lot of tv shows and movies on the internet. My face-to-face social interactions have seriously diminished. Is that it? We’ll put that down as theory #1. Of course, if limited real-world social contact proves to be the main ingredient necessary for a healthy mind, the whole blogosphere is fucked.
So what else has changed? I’m sitting here, trying to put myself in my 22-year-old body. She’s about the same size, oh, but she’s drunk. And I think this other distant feeling is…yes, she’s high. Ok, I’ve put together theory #2: I was never clever, just full of drugs and youthfulness. Goddamn, I think I like theory #1 better.
Done with the “How did this happen?” and onto the “How do I fix it?” I have a few ideas, but feel free to add your own suggestions.
1. Start a blog. Share thoughts and feelings in an attempt to jump start them. (the Neo-Hippy approach)
2. Eat better. At least eat breakfast (the Mom approach)
3. Limit gaming and television (the Not-Going-To-Happen approach)
4. Stop caring about it and appreciate what little faculties you have left (the Acceptance approach)
5. Deny that there is anything wrong to begin with (the Boyfriend approach)
Well, I do feel a little better. I’m not going to go write a screenplay or anything, but I might be able write some bad poetry.